The Mr. Business: A Cocktail for Cool Cats or Crazy Cat Ladies

The thought of my husband on a long flight, sandwiched between a snaggletoothed cartoon cat and a cartoon cat lady, had me rolling with laughter. We sometimes encounter interesting people when traveling, and by interesting I mean annoying. The kind of people that are loud or rude, or just extremely self-involved. There’s nothing worse that being stuck in a middle seat, surrounded by people who are really interesting. We’d had some recent bad luck on our last vacation with interesting people, and the airline randomly assigned us middle seats in different rows. When I gave my husband the bad news, he said “With my luck, I’ll be between Gayle and Mr. Business.”

Pack your vintage travel bar! It could be a bumpy ride!

Gayle and Mr. Business became a running joke for several weeks after our vacation concluded. If you aren’t familiar with these characters from Bob’s Burgers, here is a clip for your entertainment. Gayle and Mr. Business jokes are great when you need to lighten up after a stressful day at work, or avoid fully participating if someone asks you to sign your name to something that you really don’t want to sign. I’m not saying that one should forge their names to something important, but if it is signing just for the sake of signing, Gayle and Mr. Business are a good option. . . or Starsky and Hutch.

One day, after yet another Gayle and Mr. Business joke, I said: “Mr. Business would make a good name for a cocktail.” and without missing a beat, “Challenge accepted!” Keep in mind, no one challenged me.

The Mr. Business: A Cocktail

I knew that the Mr. Business should be a creamy cocktail, because cats like cream, right? I perused my classic Old Mr. Boston’s cocktail recipe book for ideas. A spin on the Brandy Alexander could be fun, but I kept coming back to a cocktail enjoyed in my 20s: the Colorado Bulldog. I kept asking myself, is the Colorado Bulldog vintage enough to be untwisted? I decided to do some research on its origins, but as with most cocktails, the history is murky.  Given it is a twist on a White Russian, and given my age (gulp!) I’ve decided it is vintage enough to be vintage.

Like the White Russian, the Colorado Bulldog includes coffee liqueur, vodka, and cream, but it’s the splash of cola that really sets it apart. The cola adds fizz and depth to the flavor, making it dangerously easy to drink.

The Untwisting

I set out to give the Colorado Bulldog a little twist. What would a cool cat like Mr. Business sip on when sitting down with a snack of sardines? A little catnip perhaps? I’ve read that catnip tea can have a slightly bitter taste, so I add some aromatic bitters. I love adding bitters to almost any cocktail and have a variety of different bitters in my arsenal. I used Hella Aromatic Bitters, and played with using carbonated water, but it didn’t have the same punch as the cola. Finally, I settled on a sugar-free cherry soda (Wild Cherry Pepsi Zero Sugar). The hint of cherry melds well with the chocolate and bitters. It isn’t much of a stretch considering Colorado Bulldogs are often served with a maraschino cherry, but if you’ve read this far, I hope you tell this is a facetious post, albeit a very tasty recipe.

Creating a cocktail inspired by a cartoon cat is a ridiculous endeavor, but what can I say. . . I’m pretty ridiculous.

Cat Toys and Cocktails

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Again, this post is filled with my poor attempts at humor and meant for cool cats of the adult human variety only. Don’t give this to your cat!